If youre broken you cant be happy in relationships. Fill a broken cup and its gonna be drained before you even get to taste it, even though you paid its full price. Pay for a refill and that one, again, is going to be emptied before it touches your lips. As long as youre broken, no matter what you do, what you achieve, how much work you put into dating youll be paying the full price and successive refills to get only a fraction of love. Inner fractures leak joy from every connection.

The temptation is to keep working on avoiding the pain, filling the void, reaching a spot of stability on turbulent dating waters, reaching a new peak of romantic glory, finding salvation in a partner, holding to someone that makes you make sense... while running away from the darkness, running away from the pain, from the unwanted, from the hurt. The temptation is to find comfort in pleasure while in pain, or to heal the void by filling the void with relationships.

Healing your void involves feeling the pain to its root. Filling your void involves avoiding the pain. The pain drives you to overcompensate and create a shiny illusion of yourself that balances all that darkness. While youre driven, you spend that energy on the false self to get goods like partners that validate that false self. But the cup is broken. When the energy runs out, the false self dissolves and you fall back to the darkness, even hungrier for real love. You cant heal while avoiding.

The pain will heal when you stop resisting and allow yourself to feel it. When you do, that will expose the wound. Once the wound is finally exposed, its gonna be infected from long neglect. But it will heal. Once the wound is part of your consciousness, it will heal like any other wound, because thats what the body does. Stop resisting pain in dating pasts, let it surface, and energy liberates to mend. You become whole for true relationships.